SOMETHING ABOUT ANGIE My Carthage Experience |
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Okay I can't tell you exactly where I live because I have this huge fear of being sued for slander, but I will tell you that if you search my website you can find the answer to that question. This page is about the place where I live. I have nick named it the children of the corn town because as you can see by the storys I am about to tell, it is very odd indeed.
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TOTAL INVASION: Every summer in Augest 45,000 (that's not a typo) additional people invade our small town. They are all vietnamese and they come here for some kind of convention for three days. Keep in mind our population is only 14,000 so of course we can not accomodate them. So guess what happens? They camp out. That doesn't sound that bad except for they set up camp right in your yard and on sidewalks anyplace they can. All the roads are blocked off and you are pretty much trappped inside until it is over. NOT SO FAST FAST FOOD: We have just about every fastfood joint around here which is great, the only problem is that there can be 10 employees behind the counter but they can only handle one order at a time. The take an order and then make it.. then they take another one and make it. You get the picture.... It can be so frustrating at times.
MY BANK: When I go to the bank I park in the parking lot, I then have to walk all the way around the building through the grass to go inside because when they built it they put the doors on the wrong side of the building! How stupid is that? It has been brought to my attention that some of the people in my town find this portion of my website offensive. There are some positive things about my town as well. For a town this size you can pretty much get all your needs met. They have a Walmart and a bowling alley and if that doesn't impress you try the skating rink... still not impressed? Okay now this is impressive we have a drive in movie theater. That is cool. And there are a lot of really cool homes and stuff. This town is also home to the Precious Moments Chaple... you know thoes little people with the giant heads... So there you have it. You know I could have written worse, I could have written about the man who tried to marry his horse forcing Missouri to pass a law saying that you can not marry an animal, but I didn't. |
I arrived here in this town about a year and a half ago by some cruel twist of fate I think. The population is about 14,000 people so granted it took some adjusting as I am used to much larger surroundings. But nothing prepared me for the experiences I have had so far. PRINCESS OF DARKNESS: I didn't have a religious background growing up and once I made the mistake of calling a phone psyic hotline where I was told I was a princess of darkness. I didn't think much of it at the time, but when I moved here I began to wonder. The thing is you can't do anything in this town without being invited to church. The clerks at the Walmart will ask me when I pay for my food, every Saturday without fail churches come to the door trying to solicit us into church. For a while I thought maybe there was something seriously wrong with me, like maybe they all knew my innermost secrets and that something truely evil lurked inside of me, but after a while someone told me I was now living in the Bible belt. To this day it still happens. THE RINGING PHONE: If you are not convinced already that I live in one of the strangest places in the world read this. There is a car dealership about 3 blocks from my house that has a very loud intercom system. Everyday when they close the phone starts ringing over the intercom and continues until the open again in the morning. Me thinking this was not only bizarr but also annoying decided to investigate. It seems that the reason they turn the phone on... is.. are you ready for this? To keep the birds away!!!!!!!! The photo above is not an actual picture of one of the many toothless people that live here, but it is a fare and just representation. Seriously there are a large amount of people both male and female here that have missing teeth. I think it has something to do with crack and also poor dentistry in the area. Lets just say that when it comes to dating I pretty much import my men. By now you are probably asking if she hates it so much there why doesn't she move.. the answer is simple. It is the only place I know of where you can buy a 4 bedroom victorian style home with an in ground pool for $60,000.00. It is the perfect place for a single parent to raise children and afford it.
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